wakey wakey hands off snakey
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
