No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
