I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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