i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
