just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
