did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
