; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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