I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
