A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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