Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
