You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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