No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
