She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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