just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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