Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
