is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Im part way to drunk.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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