there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
