She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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