remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I want to have your abortion
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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