Betty ford says i'm here all night
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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