yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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