I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she told me i tasted like america
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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