Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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