There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
