i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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