you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
