Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
