omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
