I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
