Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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