sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
