I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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