why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
