fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
