I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
