girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
