He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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