i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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