I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
