Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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