Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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