is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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