awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
