You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
