Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
