So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Randomize
