at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
and you fell through a lawn chair
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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