I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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