Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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