There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
God, I missed his penis.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
