They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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