i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
