Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
