3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
