I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
