then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize