I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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