Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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