I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
