even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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