he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
