I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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