i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just google imaged poop.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Houston, we have a blender
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
