A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
