idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
