She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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