I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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