he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
