I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
