The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
