you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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